Schedules

In one month I go back to work, and M goes to D's house (a good friend who is a stay-home-mom).  So, it was of some importance to me that by that time M and I would be on some type of sleeping schedule.  I have researched this on the web, and to tell the truth, I'm very confused and overwhelmed by the information.  I have looked up types of schedules, when to start a schedule, and how to start a schedule.  I'm getting info on eating schedules (which, come to find out, are important to the sleeping schedule), sleeping schedules, and playing schedules.  Tons of advice on differentiating between night and day for baby, and how to schedule naps that coincide with eating and don't interrupt night time sleep.  Also, advice on whether to let the baby cry-it-out or not.  I have had to sort out what I feel is valid to our situation and what is not.  So, here is what I have decided:
1.  M will eat on demand.  If he is hungry he will eat.  End of story.  I found information that said I should feed him every 3 hours and his sleep should coincide with that.  Problem is, he likes to eat and it can take him over an hour or more (he is a grazer at times) to finish a bottle. 
2.  I can't bear to let M cry-it-out.  I don't believe it's cruel or anything, it just breaks my heart to listen and frazzles my nerves.  I tried to let him cry-it-out today, but after 5 minutes of heavy crying I felt horrible.  Needless to say, he was back in mommy's arms.  Plus, I have read that the faster his cries are answered, the more secure and independent he will be as he gets older.  Let's hope this is true and not the other way around.
3.  I will work on a night routine and the differentiating between night and day with M.  During the day, shades will be open and light on with plenty of noise in the background.  At night, lights will be off and noise to a minimum.  We will take a bath and read a story before bed.  During night feedings, interaction will be kept minimal.  This is going to be the hard one for reasons I care not to explain.
4.  I'm going to relax about this schedule thing.  Sure it would be wonderful to know when he will sleep and when he won't, but it all seems so complicated.  Between parent-initiated schedules, baby-initiated schedules, and combination schedules; my head is swimming with information I can't keep straight.  I think he will be fine, and so will I. 
A true test to this schedule business today:  I have spent all morning and part of the afternoon trying to get him to lie down for a nap in his crib.  I figure if I can start getting him used to the crib, the transition from bassinet to crib won't be so bad.  Five tries later, he is sleeping soundly in the living room!  I think that is proof that I should work on getting him to sleep in the first place and put the sleep schedule on the back burner.  I also think I should quit reading so much!